Monday, July 22, 2013

I woke this morning to thunder clouds, lightening strikes and rain that sounded so much like hail, I had to look outside to make sure it wasn't.  My morning started off with the view of gloominess, dark skies, wet air, and thick clouds that filled the earth around us.  I woke this morning feeling grateful and relieved that the gardens were being watered, my new plants (that I just planted, in July (who does that)) were getting watered and I wasn't the one doing it.  I love gardening, flowers make me feel calm and mornings in the yard working with them, transplanting, splitting, taking cuttings helps me to relax like nothing else seems to do. I think my thoughts, pray out loud and imagine how my yard will look one day.  Vegetable gardening is new to me and although it isn't as relaxing or enjoyable, I am beginning to love it in a whole new way.  I am learning each year and realizing that a dead plant isn't always the results of the sower but sometimes the result of the plant. 
So I woke this morning knowing that the water hose wasn't going to have to be dragged around and the sprinklers weren't going to have to be moved at different intervals throughout the day. A morning off because the outside world was getting a bath. Feeling relieved because  a week of VBS was going on and often leaving home each morning creates a little chaos in our life, simple seems to be much easier for my family to handle and mornings at home help our day go smoother. So one less thing to do on this morning was sure to be the beginning of a great day. 
This feeling of joy carried me through quite time and dressing for the day, I was soaring when I prepared breakfast, turned on lights and greeted kids with "good morning."  I checked emails and changed diapers, thinking about how I would have time for other things this morning. 

Then it happened~ little by little (from 6am-9pm)...

No one wanted to eat breakfast (snacks were being served at VBS), Jett had a melt-down after leaving kids at VBS (he wanted to play on the slide (in the lightening)), a baby chick died (I had to dispose of it), deer ate some of my fruit trees (during the rain storm) (this made me cry), Jett has figured out how to potty standing up (he doesn't lift the seat all the time), Corey is gone on a trip, two kids got into a fight (physical fights rarely happen in our home), some heart issues had to be discussed, one child had to be told 4 times to get in the shower (and it wasn't one of the younger 3), some heart issues had to be discussed, I was dirty from mowing (legs had mud on them, I wanted to shower),  no one wanted to eat dinner (that I prepared), I didn't get to go on my bike ride (those 6 kids just sat at the dinner table)….. dunt, da, da….I got angry!!, I sent them to bed.  

To bed, where they needed to be, because they were exhausted, I wished I had just done it with a joyful heart, I would love to go back in time and tell that tired momma to pray and  smile through it all, to tell her to take the "I" out of her head and persevere, to let Jesus shine.  That God's promises are true, teaching children obedience has it's rewards, that the things of this world will pass away but the promise I have in Him will be forever.  

How does this happen? you wake up in a joyful, thankful mood, I have six people I love walking around filling my heart with blessings that  I know only God can give, I know Corey is working to provide for us (traveling is just a part of that),  my tomatoes are turning red, glorious flowers are blooming in my yard, I get a dozen eggs each morning and there is still fruit on the trees and I let the things of this world steal my joy, I let myself steal my joy and I forget that my joy is Jesus. He is where my joy comes from, not from feelings or  people, not from situations that I put myself in or involuntarily are put in.  He is the source, the light, the One who fills us. 

I have this image of how things should be, kids eating well-balanced meals happily, trees growing, house clean, chickens thriving, clean, well balanced children who love each other, and an exercised momma. These things happening make me happy, they make my pride feel good when I accomplish them, they focus on me.  When they don't happen, then I have to focus on Jesus, I have to rely on Him to run our  home, I have to put myself and my family in His hands and let Him guide us. I have to take my eyes off myself and my goals and look at where God is taking us and what He is doing through us. 
In Php1:6, Paul writes, "He who has begun a good work in you..."  

A good work even when I can't see it, certainly when it is a day full of hectic confusion and wondering, non-stop discipline, constant praying and having to turn my focus away from it all and onto my Lord.


Mrs. Boggess said...

Thank you for this reminder! Too bad I didn't read it yesterday when my day was going about like yours!

Amy said...

Beautiful!!! What a wonderful reminder of where our focus should be... especially during those days were "everything" seems to be going wrong!!! Thanks Anne Marie!!!