Sometimes I come to my blog and I scroll down the pages of the past, remembering pictures, reading words and it calms me. I look at the smiles on my children's' faces and remember the moment, how I felt when I wrote the story behind it all and the emotion I put into it. I come here and read, shutting the door to my room, and letting myself breath in and out, soaking in how blessed and thankful I am for these little people...because at times my life is chaos, sling-shot pencil flying, 1 year old climbing, block throwing, 6 year old whining, food spitting chaos. There are times that I run because the words that will escape my mouth if I don't aren't kind and loving, memorable or wise instead "run for the hills, the kids have taken over" have entered my brain and dear me there are moments it has taken every possible muscle in my body holding me back not to grab those keys and run out the door from these little blessings of mine.

These fleeting moments that I am not sure I want to remember, in that instance I certainly don't, as I sit in the floor with my head in my hands, praying no one stops by unannounced to see pencils and blocks littering the floor, a 1 year old playing in the kitchen sink, food that was too yucky to swallow covering the bar and a 6 year old tapping me on the shoulder telling on everyone as if I couldn't see for myself.

Moments like these, happen occasionally, my well ordered, perfectly planned house doesn't always run smoothly, not everyone gets along...name calling and harsh words do occur and to my disbelief these perfectly, beautiful children that I love to brag about are not at all perfect and ordered.

We are in the midst of fall with pumpkin patches, spices, soup, baking bread and having yummy desserts every night. The ice cream scoop has been put away and the mixing spoon has come out of hiding, ovens are always pre-heating, aprons constantly being washed and the cookbook is being left out....the happenings of fall, cozy and comfortable.

I thought I would write more, share more pictures, spend more time on my computer now that fall is here but the last 6 weeks have limited my time. Fatigue and nausea have been a part of my day, throw in emotions that are out of wack and life has been a little exhausting. So I have been spending less time in my house and more time just sitting outside watching my kids play, enjoying them, then falling asleep when the sun goes down. My energy level is coming back, my appetite slowly returning and I am staying up a little later and able to wake up in the morning at a decent time. Growing a baby in the first few weeks is hard and fulfilling, knowing life is forming inside of you and those beautiful symptoms that come with it, giving reassurance and a peaceful reminder of what will happen when spring arrives and our family grows with another sweet blessing.

Excitement is full in our house with the hopes of a new brother or sister, all bets are on the table about what this new little one will be. I love that my children view birth and pregnancy as a celebration, a large family as a thing of beauty, they have a natural ease with small children and babies, are able to pick up and carry around, feed and care for them with love and kindness whether it be one of their own siblings or someone elses. We are filling our quiver with another, excited about expanding our brood, and adding to the chaos of our fun-filled, vibrant home.