Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Humbleness with a little Winter Wonderland Thrown in

There are times when I struggle with teaching my children the characteristics of how to live. More times then not I hear myself saying, "don't do this," "don't say that," "we don't want to hurt others feelings." Then it feels like in the same moment I am saying, "tell me what you feel, what you think," "say what you have inside of you," "be expressive," "share your thoughts." Do they understand the differences, does confusion set in, do they question when they should speak and when they shouldn't? What kind of children do I want to raise and mold?...free thinkers, free spirits, with ideas that are entirely their own, I only want them to conform to the Bible, not their friends ways, the worlds ways or even my ways. I want them to have unique thoughts, great ideas that aren't suppressed, make their own trends, and see cool in the unordinary.

I have been trying for quite sometime to teach my children how to be humble, show humility, and not brag of the things they get, they have, or what they are capable of. I do want them to talk and share with friends, I want them to have pride in themselves, I do not want them to hold back but I never want it to come across as bragging...oh a fine line and it has been hard for me to teach. I am one that would just rather not share then ever come across as boasting about myself and I know this isn't the right coarse of action either because it comes across as something entirely different and negative. Deep down in my core, of all those things that irritate me the most...it is not being humble, shouting from the roof tops that you pray, counting down vacation days, exposing the good that you do, talking of yourself makes me sorry that those things are all you have.

Here is the contradiction, here is the fine line, I love to know, I like seeing where other people go, I like knowing friends joys, I take pride in seeing an old friends accomplishments, hearing about births and triumphant are amazing to me, parents who talk of successes in their children...I think that is how it is supposed to be. But how do I get that across to my children? It always seems to get muddled in between the have pride in yourself but don't talk about yourself to much.

Yesterday, as we were driving back from a great morning at the theater, I began to feel guilty that my kids and I get to experience these things, we had heard on the radio driving home of a family that needed so much, not wanted but needed and how our community in NWA has blessed them abundantly and I couldn't help but point out to my children that what they just heard was a "true Christmas." With all those emotions I felt I began to think, do I talk of the things we do too much, is that all I show when I write and share pictures. I hope not, I hope that I am just sharing our memories, my thoughts, the joys of parenthood and how grateful I am to be living this life and to have them as a part of it.
I want each of my children's' eyes to see need, their hearts to be open for people, and for them to feel down deep within themselves the "want to" to give and help. I have realized that no matter how many books we read, how much we talk of others not having what we possess, they will not ever fully understand until I show them what real poverty is, when they see how great the needs of others are, and when they see those people as people just like themselves only with less.

Tonight is one of those nights that I hope my children's eyes will be open to helping others, children who don't get to delight in peanut butter cups for snacks, laying in the grass with no worries, and bellies that are never empty. I hope when they open Christmas gifts on Christmas morning that they feel excitement and thankfulness but also they see the children who have nothing and have an urgent drive to help them, a want so strong and deep that it burns deep within them to do something, anything to meet the needs of others.

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