The Night Before

13 years ago, I was huge with child, my first child, a child that popped into the lives of two very young, newly wed people as a big surprise, changing our world, our thoughts, how we would be.   

I never go back to what our dreams were for that month when we were so newly married (lets be real-very newly married), the plans we had, the places we would go.  It seems forever ago, even though 13 years isn't even close to forever, simply a step back in time, a glance back in the big picture of it all.
I don't look back to those moments because they are dim compared to the moment we found out we were going to be parents.  This 18 year old girl and this 19 year old boy, in a barrack on a long awaited weekend to see each other.  A moment that changed us, a defining moment of seeing the handiwork of God in motion.  I can recall the feelings, the emotions, the joy, the fear, the change, and the unity it brought to Corey and me when those two pink lines appeared.  The plans changed.  Our lives, have become the story only God could write.  

Tomorrow I become a mom of a teenage boy.  A teenage boy, who is still a boy, with a creative soul, a fun personality and heart filled with love and deep emotions. However many times I wonder if I can do this, if I am fit for the task of raising a young man, if he will see Christ through me, if the words I say will mold him or the mistakes I make will define him.  Tonight I said goodnight to the face of a boy because this year will change him physically, emotionally and mentally.  This day next year as we stand over him and thank God for his 13th year, as we pray for the beginning of his 14th year, what will we say, how will he have changed.  This year will change me too and though my heart is sad that time continues to fly, that I held his 7lb body only a moment ago, my spirit is revving, the excitement of a different kind is pumping through me and maybe ignorance, of not having a clue of what raising a teenager is like, is playing a part in the energy I feel. 
I feel confident though because I am able to look back at that 19 year old girl and that 20 year old boy holding that newborn John in their arms.  I can see where God led them, how God molded them and how God has used them to raise this new 13 year old boy.  This is year is one where we will let God drive us and teach us to be a new type of parent as we enter this awesome stage of becoming parents to a teenager.

Happy Birthday John-Boy