Today I was reminded how incredibly unique and different my daughters are. As we were leaving swim class, Julia grabs my hand and quietly whispers that the lifeguard will get on to you for breaking rules.
"Momma, a little girl was running and (with a horrified expression) she got in trouble, in front of everyone."
I think, the lifeguard just wanted her to "be careful." (I said in which I emphasised be careful, because next to me stood my other daughter, the fabulous Jillian, who I made eye-contact with as I said it)
As we are walking, Jillian with a roll of her head, smile on her face, and a little fun attitude in her voice said "oh Julia, I got in trouble twice." I about fell down laughing, when I saw the look on Julia's face (as I had observed Jillian getting into trouble) and her response to her naughty sister would be just as expected, "What did you do?"
I want to clearly point out that Julia does get in trouble, like any 6 year old, usually for things like tattling and being bossy, sometime she forgets that she isn't me, and she loves to correct everyone which causes her to be sent to her room quite often.
Jillian, is not a trouble maker, the teachers she has find her rather fascinating because she loves to participate and loves to please. She loves perfection and pushes herself very hard.
However they are very different and it is amazing to watch these two sisters co-exist, play well together, talk secretly after bedtime and have a strong desire to a be together, when at times it seems like Jillian has enough fun in her for the two of them both and Julia has enough "mother" and caution in her, that by the time Jillian was in the womb Julia had taken it all.
Uniqueness and personality can't be bought or even persuaded, sure we as parents can encourage it, explore it and can help make our children bigger and brighter with what they were born with but anything more, trying to change, trying to make them something else will only weaken them.
Some days I feel like I have a field of flowers before me. So completely different from each, some liking shade, some drawn to the sun, ones that dig their roots deep into fertile soil while others like the rocky, well drained areas. There are days that one flower is huge and bright, brimming over with a beautiful fragrance while another may not even flower. I worry and tend, pulling out roots, watering only to see that the bud was coming up I just had to wait for it.